h The East Coast Outcast: April 2006

Thursday, April 27, 2006

The trip home

I'm sure its been pretty obvious to anyone that reads this that I try to avoid any actual emotion of my own. Sure I'll be angry someone stole my cubicle, or confused at the man/woman housekeeping thing at the Sheraton...but those are safe emotions. They're funny emotions.

I'm a happy person. Everyone who knows me would agree. I mean, my nickname over the summer was Smiley Josh. It doesn't get much happier than that. Today tested my happiness though...

It seems like everyone had a bad day. It didn't matter who I talked to or which side of the country they lived on. I know I had about six people tell me it was a horrible day. I guess it was a curse I just couldn't avoid.

Actually, my day was fine until about 5:30-ish. Of course, I slept until 3:30. Then I showered, and went to the mall. I ended up not buying anything there, but bought a couple of DVDs at Best Buy and some magazines at Borders. Then back to the hotel room, where I was greeted with the news that I had to do testing. So I drove to the office early so I could test.

On top of that, my friends were basically cancelling their trip to DC. Which happened Friday. They were leaving tomorrow. It was short notice that really hurt. I had been looking forward to this forever. They all promised they'd visit over the summer, and I believe them. It's still a while to wait.

Anyway, I've been questioning why it bothers me so much. I think the reason is I haven't made friends like that here. I have a few good friends...literally-a few. Its hard when the place where you work is different from the place where you live. I was basically shoved into an area where I knew NO ONE, and then travelling to another area where I knew NO ONE...all the while working night shifts.

I can't complain. I need to do something about it. I'm just not sure how to go about finding friends. I always had school before, or a job where I could meet people. Or at least friends, so I could meet there friends. Any advice?

posted by Josh at 2:43 AM 2 comments

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Words of Wisdom

It's one thing to be a couple.
It's another thing to be the couple everyone hates.

When people say through their fake smiles that you're cute, or even more obviously--jokingly say that you're "disgusting" or "gross" or "to get your hands off each other," think about it for a few seconds beforer you laugh it off.

posted by Josh at 8:44 PM 3 comments

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Observation

It's amazing how tired you can get when its 3 a.m. and you've been working for 9 hours...

Yea.

posted by Josh at 3:17 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Office Warfare Pt. 2

So ignore the last post. I was just moved...I'm sharing a cubicle with my manager now.

posted by Josh at 11:39 PM 0 comments

Office Warfare

So I got to the office today at my usual time (7p.m. for those who don't know about my crazy night hours). As I'm walking to the room I usually do my work in...which is a dark, dim conference room stuck in the back of the building without anyway windows...I pass by my cubicle.

Hm, funny...that's not my name on the cubicle. Hey, and those aren't my papers on the desk...

SOMEONE STOLE MY FREAKIN' CUBICLE!

Not sure what to do now, but I'll figure something out...

posted by Josh at 7:25 PM 0 comments

Monday, April 17, 2006

Burning the fat

I finally decided to give in and start exercising. I know I'm not going to be youthful and have a super high metabolism forever. I figured I should start before I get fat (which I think is happening a lot sooner than I expected thanks to my crazy work life).

To use our client's gym, we have to fill out a membership packet. I printed the packet, but after walking to the printer...discovered it hadn't printed. So I went back and printed it again. Still no packet.

I wouldn't complain if this was a close walk. But I basically have to walk to the other side of the building (width-wise, if I had to walk to the other side length-wise I would probably be dead by now).

So I messed with the printer, and figured out what was wrong. I went and printed it again and walked to the printer and there was NOTHING.

So I went back to the room and gave up. But then I realized there were more printers, so I walked back to get the printer number. ANYWAY. You get where this is going...after three more trips I finally had the membership packet in my hand.

I'm hoping the gyms give me as much of a workout as printing this damn packet.

posted by Josh at 9:16 PM 3 comments

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Whose idea was Easter anyway?

My phone charger stopped working--apparently it doesn't realize that it was Easter. And of course, stores don't like to be open on Easter, especially stores that might carry a charger. Unfortunately I needed my phone for work tonight. So three hours and Best Buy, Target, Kmart, and three Cingular stores later, I finally have a new charger.

Why do holidays exist anyway?

posted by Josh at 8:50 PM 0 comments

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Gospel SuperFest Easter Jam

I don't know if anyone caught the Gospel SuperFest Easter Jam (Live from New York City-A Resurrection Sunday Celebration) on ABC today, but wow--it definately lived up to its name.

It also proved my theory that gospel is gayer than man-on-man ass sex.

posted by Josh at 2:05 PM 0 comments

What's it like to be normal?

For those of you that don't know, I'm working crazy hours. When I say crazy hours I don't mean long days where I come in at 7a.m. and leave at 7p.m. No, by crazy hours I mean I come in at 7p.m. and leave at 5a.m.

I'm pretty sure my body hates me right now. Not only for this shift, but for the 3a.m.-11a.m. shift I worked for a few weeks before this new shift. Before that it was 5p-1a, and before that it was 8p-4a.

3a-11a was definately the worst. Waking up at 2a.m. is NOT NORMAL. Going to bed at 8p.m. is IMPOSSIBLE. I learned to just sleep whenever I was tired. There'd be a 3 hour nap, and then 3 hours before work. This messed up my body a lot. I was never really hungry either...I only ate because I had to. INSANE.

Anyway, now I'm working nights. Staying up late is pretty normal for me--I mean, I did just graduate college last semester. The only problem is travel.

As you know, hotels usually want you to check out by 12p.m. That doesn't leave much time for sleep, but I guess I could handle. This week, though, every single flight was sold out except for a 9a.m. flight. Let's look at this:

Leave work at 5a.m.
Arrive in hotel at 5:30a.m.
Check out of hotel at 7a.m. (I know this seems early for a 9a.m. flight, but I'm half an hour from the airport when there's no traffic, and I had no idea what traffic would be like going into Boston on a weekday morning).
Airport at 7:30a.m.
Fly departs at 9:05a.m.
Arrives at 10:45a.m.
Get home around 11a.m.
Die (not really, suprisingly)

Needless to say with packing and all, I ended up with an hour of sleep. I couldn't fall asleep when I got home...it was noon, and sunny, and my apartment is covered with windows.

Here's my solution...
I shoved my mattress into my closet and slept in there.

Not exactly normal. Not even close to normal. I mean, who does that? How many people can you picture clearing the floor of their walk in closet and then proceeding to DRAG in the mattress, which is no easy task. Closet doors aren't very wide.

It was dark though, and sooo perfect. The best afternoon sleep I've had for a while. I think I went to bed at 1p and woke up at 6p.

My mattress is still in my closet. I slept on it last night. I have a really good feeling it's not going to leave my closet until I end up with visitors, because I'm not sure I want to explain that.

Just because I'm a freak doesn't mean the whole world needs to know...right?

posted by Josh at 12:59 PM 0 comments

Friday, April 14, 2006

Can we say restraining order?

I'm a big fan of privacy and yadda yadda yadda, but this is too good to pass up.

One of my old friends in Rolla has a stalker-ish type person we like to call his Middle Eastern Lover. This is the latest email completely uncut and unedited:

"hi justin ,how are you doing? Nice to find u here. well , you know something the other night I was walkin gback home with my frnd hardly caring to listen to what he was talking to me coz my brains occupied thinking of how you looked in the class that morning while i was passing over your class in the humaniities building....and suddenly I saw something i couldn't just believe and had hold my breath...you what i saw i joggin pass by me near the civil engineering building.....i can't tell you how I felt then.....it was like my thoughts personified and passed by me. justin please meet me up sometime i wanna talk to you. Can't we be atleast friends. ......i sound crazy but i am in need of a frnd here in rolla....it feels like i am lost..........I am sure you know wHO this is ....happy easter and have a good day."

posted by Josh at 10:13 PM 1 comments

I'm in love with a librarian

No, I'm not really in love with a librarian.

I have a friend--we'll call her Maggie. I just got off the phone with said friend, and as with every conversation I have with her, the librarian comes up.

The librarian has been Maggie's obsession for at least the last month. I'm not quite sure how she always has so much to say since I think they've talked about five times.

I know about each time too. Not just like, you know, an overview of the conversation. Nope. I know the exact dialog, because she makes a point to remember it.

Usually it goes like this:

Maggie: Hi.
Hunky Librarian: Hi.
Maggie: Do you work today?
Hunky Librarian: Yeah.
Maggie: Me too.
Hunky Librarian: Cool.
Maggie: What about Saturday?
Hunky Librarian: Yeah. What about you?
Maggie: I'm off.
Hunky Librarian: Congratulations. [Yes, he really just says "congratulations."]
Maggie: Yeah.
Hunky Librarian: Ok, I'll talk to you later.
Maggie: Ok, see ya.
Hunky Librarian: See ya.

And she remembers it. Every single word. Sometimes she'll be telling me the story, and it'll be like "And then he said 'Ok.'" But then she'll correct herself. "No, he didn't say 'OK.' He said 'sure.'" Does it make a difference if he said "Ok" or "sure?" I mean, I guess it could, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

Anyway, Maggie finally asked him if he wanted to get coffee sometime, and he said they could talk about it next week.

Congratulations.

I'm sure I'll have an update next week, and maybe even a transcript (correctly noting all OKs sures, and yeahs)

posted by Josh at 12:04 AM 1 comments

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Gay life in in the nation's capital

So I found this little niblet in an editorial on the recent gay bar closings in DC in the Washington Blade. It pretty much describes what I've noticed in DC.

"It may be an overstatement to claim there actually is a Washington gay "community." I’ve been here three decades and it’s apparent, gay and straight, we come to this capital to work, not to live.

In these surreal 10 square miles, 20-, 30- and 40-somethings — and even those of us entering our golden years —-tend to define ourselves less by actual accomplishment and more by acquisition of titles (think assistant secretary, deputy assistant secretary, special assistant to the deputy assistant secretary.)

There are more titles per square inch in the District of Columbia than in any old aristocratic capital of Europe. And career-ism isn’t just the province of the young in Washington. In public, we reveal less a sense of community than we display inflated and insecure egos."

posted by Josh at 11:11 PM 0 comments

Why are people weird?

So, I'm at work, right? Minding my own business...doing some updating on a database to keep myself busy. Then I'm greeted with this:

Shayne LDforever (7:52:39 PM): hey

I don't recognize the name and say hi back. Maybe it was some extremely hot guy that found me on MySpace and was going to sweep me off my feet. (Yeah, right, but it's a nice thought.)

This is what follows.

Shayne LDforever (7:52:48 PM): ur cute
joshw0615 (7:52:51 PM): hmmm
joshw0615 (7:52:53 PM): thanks...
Shayne LDforever (7:53:00 PM): i have a crush on you are you single

WTF? No, you don't have a crush on me. I need some clarification.

Shayne LDforever (7:53:00 PM): i have a crush on you are you single
joshw0615 (7:53:10 PM): you have a crush on me?
Shayne LDforever (7:53:13 PM): yes
joshw0615 (7:53:14 PM): you don't know me
Shayne LDforever (7:53:24 PM): no i mean a physiclyy attractiveness
Shayne LDforever (7:53:26 PM): crush
Shayne LDforever (7:53:38 PM): basiclly i think ur cute

Ok, I guess. Still creepy. Now I need to find out where he found me.

joshw0615 (7:54:34 PM): cool..
joshw0615 (7:54:37 PM): where did you find me?
Shayne LDforever (7:54:46 PM): oh *insert random gay profile website I haven't looked at in two years*
joshw0615 (7:55:20 PM): oh, ok
joshw0615 (7:55:22 PM): where are you
Shayne LDforever (7:55:37 PM): st charles

Ok, so, obviously that's in MO. Obviously I'm not in MO anymore. I inform him.

joshw0615 (7:55:41 PM): oh
joshw0615 (7:55:52 PM): i moved from missouri... i haven't really updated my *insert random gay profile website I haven't looked at in two years* in a while
Shayne LDforever (7:56:03 PM): so where u live now
joshw0615 (7:56:12 PM): virginia
Shayne LDforever (7:56:38 PM): bye

GOD! People are so rude.

Why can't I find normal people online. Nevermind, stupid question.

posted by Josh at 8:01 PM 1 comments

Confused?

After saying hi to the housecleaning lady and realizing her voice was about 5 octaves below mine, l've decided she's a man.

posted by Josh at 2:34 PM 0 comments

General Observations Part I

Some things I've happened to notice from my time in DC and Boston...

1. Traffic sucks.
Considering St. Louis ranks 4th in highways per capita, and Kansas City ranks first, there have never been a shortage of highways around me. However, highways seem to be an afterthought out here.

Any given highway (if you manage to find one that takes you to where you're going..parkways and routes are apparently the new in-thing) is usually congested beyond belief. Toll roads are a little less congested, but then you have to wait 20 minutes to get through the tolls.

Because of this I now don't leave my apartment before 7p.m., unless there happens to be an emergency or a really, really good sale.

2. Going out sucks
Drinks > $5
Cab > $10 (And don't even think about driving... Street Parking = 0, Parking Garage = $15, and Virginia = DUI)
Cover > $5
People = Shirtless, muscular, and douchebag-y

3. *#&$(*#ing High Rent
I could take a weeklong trip to the Bahamas for what I'm paying each month. Or buy a couple of laptops. It's about what I was paying in Rolla, plus $1,000 and minus a bedroom. God..

To be continued.

posted by Josh at 2:45 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Spring is in the air

Right now three of my really good friends are in new relationships. They're in that really cute infatuation stage. They get excited when the other person calls...and make plans to hang out in advance. And actually keep the plans. And look forward to the plans...a lot.

Anyway, I want to puke.

I'm going to blame the bag of popcorn and the Hershey's Kissables (try them, they're great) and not the overly-cute-borderline-obsessive actions of my friends in heat.

posted by Josh at 11:55 PM 1 comments

Tryin' the blog thing again

Some of you may remember the old days when I had a website.

There was even a time when I updated it daily.

That was a loooong time ago. The site is gone (stupid UMR) and I'm pretty sure nothing links to it anymore (Brett removed my link from his site after several warnings about not updating).

My life is a little more exciting now, and I'm sorta in a blogging-kinda-mood.

I'm hoping for something I update multiple times a day...at least with stupid random crap. Once a day is going to be the goal I set for now though. I know I'm ADD and constantly am checking friend's websites for updates, so maybe other people are the same way.

Anyway, here goes...

posted by Josh at 9:45 PM 0 comments